4 Teachings That Buddhism Offers Us About Love

The conception of love that Buddhism offers us differs greatly from the classic image of romantic love, where the world of literature and cinema has transmitted us a series of somewhat erroneous and even painful concepts.

Leaving aside whether we are spiritual, religious or agnostic or a bit of everything depending on the moment , it is always appropriate to know different approaches to the same reality. With them we will enrich ourselves personally.

Love is and will continue to be a complex and exciting dimension. It is something we learn from every day, where it is worth knowing interesting theories that allow us to grow inside and, in turn, establish happier, more integral relationships.

Buddhism can help us do this. Hence, today in our space we want to share with you these magical and wise pillars on which to reflect for a few moments.

Love in buddhism

In Buddhist texts and in the different branches in which this ancient religion spreads, love is, above all, part of the inner growth, both of the person and of the couple themselves.

It is also interesting to know that for Buddha love is a subtle and wonderful mixture of joy and compassion. However, we must bear in mind that in this spiritual approach the need not to be “clinging” to anything or anyone is also extolled.

The “detachment” is part of that essential freedom of the human soul. This will allow you to flow and advance on the wheel of life and in each of the cycles of your soul. However, by detachment we do not have to understand not being able to be united with our loved ones.

For Buddhism to love is to recognize the other as part of oneself, in joy and respect. But, in turn, we must be wise enough to also allow the personal growth of the loved one .

This is where one of the greatest beauties of this approach stands.

Let’s see it in detail.

1. Unconditional kindness

Buddhism reminds us that one of the main pillars that we have to build and take care of in our lives is goodness.

• The act of being noble of mind and heart involves doing the best for others, while respecting and caring for all those around us.
• In love it could not be less, since it is at the level of a couple where unconditional kindness should acquire its maximum expression, its maximum need.
• Being respectful of the loved one, caring for their well-being, for their personal balance, for acting with nobility in our actions and words is a value that we should not neglect.

2. The ability to bring joy and happiness to the person you love

Love, if it is authentic, mature and wise, will never bring sorrow or tears. Who loves you well will make you happy, will never make you cry.

• Buddha remembers in his texts that to love someone you have to know how to observe them. So you can discover what makes him happy.
• Understanding is the way where two people find common spaces and, to facilitate this mutual understanding, we must be able to enjoy together, to speak with joy, to look at each other in silence to also delve into the concerns of our soul.
• Happiness is expressed and observed; love is offered with joy, never with shouting and blackmail. 
• In turn, Buddhism reminds us of the need to be happy in solitude before starting a relationship. Because only happy and calm hearts are capable of giving their best.

3. Compassion

We understand compassion as that sincere and noble desire to alleviate the suffering of another person, especially the loved one.

• From Buddhism we are reminded that to find the reason for the suffering of the loved one, it is not enough to talk. Words are not always sincere or brave.

• You have to know how to observe, you have to develop that empathy that connects the looks to read the soul. As you can already suppose, from this spiritual tendency we are invited to learn to meditate.

Because only when you find that balance and inner peace, you are able to better connect with people and with your emotional world.

4. Equanimity and freedom in the couple

This is an aspect as important as it is complex in couple relationships. If I love a person, how am I going to promote their freedom? How to build that space where we can both be united but, at the same time, we are free to grow?

• It is necessary to relativize many of our schemes. To begin with, true love must be offered in total freedom.

Personal freedom is an exceptional value that can help us build more mature relationships.

It is necessary to foster a common space in our relationship, but at the same time, respect that the other person continues to grow internally. It is a path that we will do together, hand in hand, but free at the same time.

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