6 Emotional Wounds We Have Since Childhood

Many times, people are affected by experiences they lived in childhood. Read the following article and discover how to avoid painful experiences for your children.

Do we carry emotional wounds that we have since childhood? Some negative childhood experiences can affect our mental health as we grow up and later into adulthood.

The experiences that we live in childhood are a determining factor in the construction of our adult personality. In childhood, we define in part who we are and how we face life.

The emotional wounds that we have since childhood are the product of bad experiences that marked our childhood. Although such events have occurred a long time ago, they leave their mark on our lives and, therefore, in adulthood we continue to feel fears characteristic of our childhood.

For this reason, it is very important to help our children manage their emotions and overcome their fears . As parents, you need to understand that this is about teamwork.

What are the emotional wounds that we have since childhood?

Most of the psychological problems that we have have their origin in the emotional traumas that we suffer in childhood. Our personality and attitude to the different situations we face in life are highly influenced by the experiences we live our first years of life.

If these experiences were traumatic and caused us great suffering, it is most likely that these fears accompany us into adulthood. Likewise, when we have to face certain stressful situations, we could react in a childish way.

If we live moments of crisis in childhood, our inner child who suffered humiliation, was betrayed or had low self-esteem, comes out and shows the deepest fears. Therefore, it is normal that the emotional wounds that we have since childhood persist inside and are still valid in the present.

1. Humiliation

If classmates, family members or relatives at some point made fun of or disapproved of some trait or attitude during the person’s childhood, this could have generated an introverted personality and with serious complexes.

The childhood victim of destructive criticism can become a ruthless person who wants others to suffer what he suffered, according to data from the publication Unseen wounds: The contribution of psychological maltreatment to child and adolescent mental health and risk outcomes .

2. Fear of abandonment

Children who grew up in constant neglect in adulthood seek to compensate for this lack. This is why they tend to abandon their partners or projects early, for fear of being abandoned first.

Something like “I’m going to leave you before you leave me”, “if you leave, you better not come back” or “since no one supports me, why am I going to put up with this?” An article in BMJ Journals points out that those who are afraid of abandonment should work on their fear of rejection, individual barriers, loneliness and above all, physical contact.

3. Self-esteem problems

Good self-esteem develops during childhood, especially in the family nucleus . If parents are not able to accept our children and love them as they are, they will feel that they must change to meet our expectations.

Each child has characteristics and abilities that make them unique and different. When your child tells you about an accomplishment that makes him feel proud of himself, express your joy with a gesture of affection. This way you will know that you are loved and valued by your parents. This will raise your self-esteem and make you feel good about yourself.

People with low self-esteem are characterized by being indecisive, lazy, discouraged, pessimistic and are easily embarrassed. For this reason, promoting good self-esteem in children is a fundamental task throughout their growth.

4. Injustice

When a child is constantly unfairly repressed or exaggerated for his faults, he grows up insecure. Injustice is one of the emotional wounds that we have since childhood and that can turn us into people with a very negative vision of life.

In addition, those who did not have a fair treatment during childhood can come to criticize in an excessive way everyone around them, as a mirror effect of what they have lived.

5. Separation anxiety

During childhood, the fear of being alone or estranged from parents forms an affectionate adult who would do anything for a show of love. People with separation anxiety are characterized by being shy, insecure, and submissive.

6. Treason

If a father does not keep the promises he makes to his child and his expectations do not come true, these people can end up becoming suspicious and unsociable. Respect and loyalty towards children will make them safer adults in the future. To deceive a child is to take away his naivety and replace it with malice.

The emotional wounds that we have since childhood condition us

The emotional wounds that we have since childhood determine our way of seeing and facing life. If we don’t want our children to grow up with some emotional trauma, we need to pay as much attention as possible to their upbringing. It is important to have an active role during their growth and not delegate this responsibility to a third party.

We must remember that each child is unique and develops their skills at their own pace. Therefore, we must avoid comparison with their friends or classmates. If we want to change any behavior in our children, we must invite them to reflect on their behavior, but without unfairly punishing them.

Finally, it is the duty of every parent to maintain open communication with their children . This way, they will feel safe discussing their fears, fears, or anything else that worries them. Thus, they will seek a solution to these problems from the beginning.