3 Keys To Educate A Teenage Son

Being parents is not easy; Raising a teenager is a difficult task that requires a lot of patience and emotional intelligence. It is convenient to know how to instill appropriate values ​​and limits so that they can grow with maturity and responsibility.

Sometimes, as parents, we feel like we need help to understand what our children need. Therefore, in this article we will give you some tips to educate a teenager that may be of help to you.

Keys to educating a teenage son

There is something very important to keep in mind: it is necessary that both the father and the mother, if they are present in the life of the adolescent, agree on the education of the children; that teach the same values ​​and have the same purposes.

1. Offer you new rights, but also duties, to educate an adolescent child

When they enter adolescence, children begin to make more demands on us. They become more stubborn, proud and with reactions that we cannot understand.

They are growing up and entering the world of adults, but they still have child’s feet. And it is not easy. Think of them as a little hormonal and personal chaos within which they have to find themselves as the people they will be.

Educating a teenager requires creating learning opportunities. They demand more rights and freedoms without objectively seeing whether their actions are risky or not. The best we can do is maintain a balance with the rights-duties issue:

• You can allow them to go out on the weekend, as long as they have fulfilled their school obligations.
• Also, that they come home at the established time.
• In case of arriving later or breaking any rule, they must lose privileges.
• They need to be held accountable for their studies and their actions.

The important thing is that every adolescent learns that life is full of rules and demands, not only for them, but also for adults.

Remember also that, if you establish rules, they must be well defined and flexible, as stated in this publication of the Educar magazine  , of the Universidad Autónoma Metropolitana-Plantel Xochimilco, Mexico.

2. Educate positively: reinforcement before sanction

There are fathers and mothers who make the mistake of continually punishing their teenagers  with scolding, arguing, and negative reinforcement. You have to keep a balance. Let’s take an example: they fail a test, they come home with poor grades and we reprimand them by telling them how lazy they are and that they will never get anywhere in this life.

Something like this is not recommended to do, because we will  awaken negative feelings, helplessness and self-esteem problems in them, as this study published in the International Journal of Psychology and Psychological Therapy shows .  Ask them what has happened and give them confidence. Tell them that you trust them and that you know they have the ability to achieve what they set out to do.

When they make a mistake, show them how they can do better, but don’t sink them, don’t criticize them. Offer strategies and confidence instead of constant penalties. It is the best.

3. Good communication and building trust

Always find a time in the day to be with your teenager and ask him how the day has gone. Don’t judge him for what he does or doesn’t do. As parents, we must guide, and this is achieved through constant dialogue and trust, as shown in this article published in the Journal of Research in Education .

Ideally, they should know that they have a support in you, never an enemy who only sanctions or criticizes and who does not help. You can follow these tips to encourage communication with them:

• Try to avoid spending the whole day in the room and limit the time on the computer.
• It prevents them from isolating themselves from the family.
• Encourage common activities at home since they are very young.
• At mealtime, turn off the television and talk to them.
• Ask them about their tastes, their interests, their friends. Encourage them to share things with you calmly.

Listen to them, guide them, be their father, mother and also their friend. Set limits when you must and offer rights when they, with their maturity and responsibility, show it to you.

We know that educating a teenager can be a tough task. However, we assure you that with optimism, love and will, we can train mature and responsible people.

People who know that to achieve things you have to make an effort, that to have good friends and a partner you have to know how to respect and understand. Emotional intelligence is always a good perspective that we can draw on.