How To Talk To Your Child About Competition
Healthy competition has many benefits, while toxic competition only hurts. Find out how you can help your child be a good competitor.
Teaching your child to be a good competitor can seem like a difficult task, so we bring you some ideas on how to talk to your child about competition. Do not miss it!
Competition is an integral part of society, for this reason it is usually encouraged within families, but what happens when a child stops enjoying extracurricular activities, sports and even games?
How do you talk to your child about the competition?
Before we get into the subject fully, let’s try to define what competition is. Basically, we could say that competition implies wanting to achieve something that is beyond what one believed to be capable of achieving. As you can see, competition is not synonymous with winning or surpassing others, but rather it is about personal improvement.
Healthy and toxic competition
The good competitor knows how to win and lose equally. He is aware that losing is part of learning and improving and, despite this, he conceives the idea of succeeding in the future.
On the contrary, a toxic competitor is only concerned with being above the rest. Competition for him is only related to the superiority obtained and he feels that losing does not bring him anything, other than frustration and bad emotions.
Now, what do you want for your son? Surely the first option. The good competitor does not only enjoy the result, but the process, the road. This is because the result is not the most important thing.
When the little one focuses only on the result, when the only thing that interests him is to beat others, a toxic relationship of competition is established that prevents learning, fun and enjoyment. For this reason, it is so important to answer the question: how do you talk to your child about the competition?
Ideas to encourage good competition
The first step for your child to become a good competitor is to talk to him. Your little one must understand that the most important thing is not the final result, but the personal effort to achieve the goal. For this, it is extremely important that you set an example. If you are a healthy competitor, your child is more likely to be, too.
Sit down with your little one and chat with him. Explain that everyone wins and loses at different times, tell him about an experience you have lived and enable the possibility of having all kinds of feelings. Your child needs to know that it is normal to feel frustrated about having lost. However, those feelings should not cloud your enjoyment.
Here are some ideas for promoting healthy and fair competition that will help your little one become a healthy competitor in the long run.
1. Personal goals
For your child to become a good competitor, it is important that he pursue a goal. The problem is that we tend to focus on the wrong target.
The focus should be “I want to do my best , “ rather than “I want to win. ” This little change in thinking frees the child from guilt if he doesn’t win. Let’s look at an example: If your child competes in races, the goal might be to run faster than he usually does, rather than to beat all the other kids.
2. Importance of effort
In every area of life, the most important thing is to give your best. Personal effort is worth more than winning and that is what you should emphasize to your child. If you have exerted yourself to the best of your ability, you will surely have improved and there is nothing more valuable than that improvement! In fact, that is the true triumph: to be a little better every day, even if there is someone who surpasses us.
3. You have to err to learn
You probably remember your parents telling you that mistakes help you learn. And it is true! Your children have to make mistakes to move forward, just like adults. Who is not wrong, does not improve.
4. Focus on yourself
For your child to enjoy his activities, it is necessary to take his eyes off the “prize.” Winning shouldn’t be the reward, but rather having fun and learning. Seek that your child live each experience and savor it, only then will he enjoy them and live the competition in a healthy way.
5. Show your child that you are proud of him
Children need the unconditional support of their parents. It is important for them to know that you are by their side, that you love them regardless of the results and that you are proud of them for their effort and tenacity.
Ultimately, do not become one of those parents who yells on the side of the stadium for their children to score a goal. Avoid situations where your little one may feel pressured. Remember that, for your child to be a good competitor, you must be too.
