How To Manage The Balance Of Powers In The Couple

Establishing the balance of powers in the couple is essential for both members to feel important and indispensable within the couple and the decisions made in it

It is common that, when starting a relationship, we find ourselves in a world where everything revolves around mutual love. However, after a while, we must put our feet back on the ground and organize the life that we will lead with that person. When there is a balance of powers in the couple, happy relationships are achieved and the chances that the two will grow together increase.

On the contrary, it may happen that one of the people takes control of the relationship. In these cases, a hierarchy of non-negotiated superiority is established. If this situation occurs, it is useful to know how to act to avoid major problems.

Is the balance of powers important in the couple?

Achieving the balance of power is truly important. The reason is that this allows both people to be and feel indispensable. This should happen when making decisions, whether they are more or less important.

Thus, the balance of powers in the couple can prevent the relationship from becoming toxic and destructive. When this balance does not exist, the person who believes himself superior may feel entitled to hurt the other. Consequently, this causes one of the two people to form the idea that he is inferior, in addition to that he usually gives much more than he receives.

There are no potions that change things overnight. You must bear in mind that the main thing is to be patient and work. Only then will we get the two members of the couple to be on the same level.
Do not forget to make your partner participate in the change when you consider that it is important.
In a relationship, the effort to improve must be mutual.

The steps to restore the balance of powers in the couple

While there are no two couples for which the same things work, there are a few steps that almost always work. These are:

Keep calm but be assertive

If you are in a couple in which the balance of powers fails it will be necessary for you to learn to defend your position . Your partner may become somewhat negative or aggressive to maintain control. These attitudes often appear to defend their position. Just stay calm, but don’t stop communicating your wants and needs.

Please note that it is very important hear to the other person. Do not try to impose yourself on the will of the other, because you will generate more tension.

Speak slowly and without arguing

When a controlling person is assuming their role, they turn up their voice volume and speed when speaking.
Because of this, it is easy to get engaged in an intense and heated discussion where words come and go so fast that we lose focus and where we want to get to.

However, instead of trying to keep up, you should slow down the conversation and pause to organize your ideas and thoughts into a coherent sentence . This will help you express yourself more clearly.

Be clear about your demands

It is important that you have control over yourself to remain firm with your partner when the balance of powers fails. If you acknowledge your effort, your partner will start to do it too.

This is one of the quickest ways to regain some control and let your partner know that they should also be there to support you.

Repeat your wishes

You must insist until your partner is forced to acknowledge what you are asking for. It is easy for a controlling person to put aside the needs or desires of their partner. This occurs because it is more focused on its own needs.

Therefore, it is essential to remain firm when you consider that what you request is something important to you. You have to sound determined and strong to be taken seriously.

Be aware of their anxiety levels

A person who is used to being in control tends to have worse attitudes when he is stressed or anxious. Therefore, you must be aware of your partner’s moods and avoid confrontations when their anxiety and stress levels are high.

If you must discuss something important, choose the moment when your partner is calmer. Thus, we can try to minimize conflicts.

Decrease tension with humor

This can be one of the most effective ways to counteract the severity of the discussion and reduce tension levels. Humor, in many cases, leads us to a communication with a more flexible and friendly approach . In this way, both of you can look at the situation from a broader perspective, rather than getting caught up in a tense and repetitive discussion.

Take your time

This is useful to clear the mind and clarify if we really are ready to talk about it or if we do not feel ready for it yet.

It is important that when taking time you leave the room and wait a prudent period, between twenty-five minutes and an hour. Less time will not allow you to think clearly, and too much time could make your partner feel that you are playing down. It is important that there is a time limit for the balance of power in the couple to be restored. When a person is controlling, they tend to get worse as they get older.

If no matter how hard you have tried, things do not improve, you should consider the idea of ​​ending the relationship. Think first of your personal well-being.