Is Your Partner Controlling? Discover The Signs

If your partner is controlling and that is affecting your self-esteem and your way of being, you should ask yourself if the relationship is really worth fighting for

We all like our partner to show interest in our things, in the problems that affect us and in our life in general.  However, you must learn to differentiate when your partner is controlling and when it comes to healthy care.

Usually, the characteristics of a controller appear from the moment you are meeting that person. The reason why we often do not see them is because in the infatuation phase these attitudes seem flattering to us.

However, it is important to learn to see when your partner is controlling, because this is a sign of low self-esteem and insecurity. In addition, it can cause jealousy, violence, insecurity in you and mistrust.

Keep reading and discover the characteristics of these people. If you detect that you are dating such a person, consider whether you should break up or try to help him combat the problem.

Of course, understand that their change does not depend on you and that, above all, you must make sure you maintain your physical and emotional safety.

1. Doesn’t take your opinion into account

It is always nice to discover that your partner prepared a special dinner or that he has taken the time to research the best dish in the restaurant he has invited you to. However,  If he is always choosing for you or deciding everything without consulting your opinion , clearly your partner is controlling.

Sometimes this attitude has to do with your partner’s culture. We can still find very macho places and it is expected that they are responsible for the wellness of the couple.

If your partner’s situation has to do with a cultural issue, take the time to talk to him and explain that this attitude bothers you. Usually when this is the problem, a conversation can help resolve the conflict.

It will be more serious if your partner simply refuses to see that there is a conflict or to change.

2. He questions you where you are and with whom

Controlling people can’t stand the idea of ​​losing control over what their partners do. So if your partner is controlling, they will probably call you every few hours or text to find out where you are, with whom, and why.

Although this seems very flattering to you, the truth is that it is unhealthy. You have to remember that your partner is just one more part of your life. You do not have to explain more than necessary.

It is worth telling her that you will see your friends or that you will leave the city. However,  you never have to feel compelled to explain more than you want. . In the same way, you also do not have to pressure your partner to give you their agenda in detail.

3. Offer destructive criticism

This is usually characteristic of controlling people. They look for ways to feel good about themselves at the cost of hurting those around them.

In this case, it is common:

• Using very hurtful comments in order to make you feel bad.
• Criticize your decisions, underestimate your successes, or simply criticize your physical appearance.

4. For him there is no term “privacy”

Another symptom that your partner is controlling is that You have an urgent need to check your phone, your computer, and your belongings . Usually, they do it with the pure intention of detecting if you are cheating on them or to find signs that you have lied to them in some way.

Some controlling people even refuse to allow their partner close the door when changing clothes or bathing. It is possible that, when trying to complain about the situation, he tells you that he does it because he loves you and that he only got a little out of control. It is important that, as soon as possible, you regain that control and impose limits.

5. He doesn’t like your friends and family, so he takes you away from them

When your partner is controlling, he will also try to focus you only on him. Remember that they are usually people with problems self-esteem , so they will seek the attention they need. This symptom will start with small things, like negative comments towards your family and friends . Then he will prompt you to cancel commitments until your whole life revolves around him.

Remember that both your friends and your family are essential to have a healthy and balanced life. We all need to surround ourselves with more people because we are social beings.

It is valid that you do not like some of the people with whom he relates and that he does not get along with all your friends. However, this in no way implies that you should end any relationship to please the other.

If you don’t like their friends but they’re not really a bad influence, just hang out with them less. The same should happen in reverse.

Be realistic if your partner is controlling

Do you find these characteristics in your relationship with your partner? In that case, analyze whether a change is possible (and feasible). Therapy partner could be an option.

In case the change is not feasible, then it is best to distance yourself. Sometimes it is better to stay away from the people we love, because they hurt us more by being by our side.

In either case, consider asking a professional for help.