Love Me If You Dare: High Self-esteem In A Relationship

In a relationship, high self-esteem has its good part and its bad part. The good news is that we know how to give ourselves the value we deserve.

We will not succumb to any attempt at manipulation by our partner and we will know how to say “this is where the relationship has come” if there is any lack of respect.

However, on the other hand, there is the most negative part of high self-esteem in the relationship. That where there are previous painful experiences that influence any new relationship that is started.

The person with high self-esteem in a relationship gives himself so much value that he believes that no one is up to him. For this reason, you can demand the impossible from other people who will not be able to provide more than they can give.

High self-esteem in the relationship has to be balanced

It is okay to develop high self-esteem in your relationship. Realize that we come first, that we do not have to depend on anyone to be happy and be aware of what we should not allow.

However, when we have such high self-esteem due to painful experiences in the realm of relationships, we will continue to have problems in them.

The problem is that it is most likely that before we have had a very low self-esteem and that, now, we have moved to the other extreme. As we know, extremes are not good.

The really beneficial thing is to achieve a balance. A healthy self-esteem, neither low nor high, that does not know extremes. A self-esteem that makes the relationship healthy, not toxic.

Because when high self-esteem in the relationship is present, the person who has it demands too much of the other. So much so that it is impossible for it to meet your expectations.

This is perhaps where the real problem lies. Expectations in a relationship are never good. They always lead to announced failure.

Loving yourself is important

When we have good self-esteem, we are aware that loving ourselves is what allows us to love others. But what if this gets out of hand?

At the moment in which we have too high self-esteem, we look for someone who loves us and behaves just as we do with ourselves.

The problem is that this does not happen. People are different from us and, in addition, we have to bear in mind that it is very difficult for them to give 100% in a relationship.

A person with high self-esteem in a relationship expects this. However, he is not aware that it would be healthy for all members of the relationship to give 50%. She included.

Likewise, having a high self-esteem implies that we love each other so much that we have total independence and we refuse to make certain commitments that limit us.

This, without a doubt, can put the continuity of the relationship at risk, since all of them (whether as a couple, friendship, family or work) require a commitment.

Cultivate mature relationships

People who enjoy healthy self-esteem can cultivate mature relationships. Relationships with a solid base in which its members are anything but toxic.

Having too high a self-esteem can play a trick on us. From never finding that person who meets our high expectations, to not giving us the opportunity to be with someone because of our “love me if you dare” attitude .

It is important to put your feet on the ground. High self-esteem can cause us to see things from a somewhat unrealistic perspective.

Also, let’s not forget that this type of self-esteem has to be worked on. We must help her find her balance, to reach healthy levels.

Only by  having a balanced self-esteem can we allow ourselves to enjoy enriching, healthy and fulfilling relationships.

Mature relationships in which we can grow, live experiences and continue learning. Together with people who will only enrich us.