My Partner Doesn’t Trust Me

Trust is one of the fundamental pillars on which a healthy relationship is based. Without it, we live in constant uncertainty that prevents the bond from moving forward. What to do when the thought “my partner does not trust me” arises?

The lack of security in the partner can become a clear obstacle to sincere love, since it limits the way to a stable and happy experience. Thus, if one of the two distrusts, taking the necessary measures to understand what is happening is essential.

Here are some of the most frequent reasons that give rise to this situation. Do you want to know them? Don’t stop reading then. We will tell you.

My partner does not trust me … How to confirm it?

Do you check the messages you receive or the clothes you wear? Are you constantly involved in the social networks you manage? Does he call you repeatedly when you go out? Is he going to see you at the office without warning? Does he not want you to go out or is he trying to dissuade you from attending group activities?

If you have answered with an affirmative answer to several of the previous questions, perhaps it makes sense to think that these are signs of distrust. In addition, you may notice that the other person is not as open as before or that they do not tell you anything about what they did that day.

You may even perceive that, instead, he pays attention to every detail of what you say or do and gives it an interpretation far from reality. However, such behaviors can also be due to other reasons. We discuss them in the next section.

Most common reasons for mistrust in the partner

The arguments that support the lack of trust on the part of the couple are the most varied. Every individual, every relationship, and every story is different. Here is a list of reasons why this type of insecurity arises:

• The belief that you are not enough for the other.
• The fear of infidelity and the fear of abandonment.

• Previous experiences characterized by disappointment or deception.
• An anxious attachment style in which bonds are established based on emotional dependence.
• The learnings that precede the relationship. For example, if mistrust was experienced at home in childhood, this pattern of behavior can be imitated.
• Jealousy towards friends, siblings, mother, father or any other person who withdraws or captures the attention of the partner.
• Irrational thoughts such as: “all men / women are equal”, “the in-laws harms or the friends pique”, and so on.

My partner doesn’t trust me. To do?

As you read, there are several reasons that make you express something like “My partner does not trust me.” In this sense, it should be noted that betrayal and deception are one of the events that most frequently alter expectations of safety.

Were you unfaithful? If this is the case that describes the situation you find yourself in, there are some helpful clues you may want to consider:

• The first thing is to recognize the mistake made, ask for forgiveness and commit not to repeat it.
• Apologies are not only good words. Therefore, it is important to demonstrate with facts that there is no need for suspicion, jealousy or assumptions.
• Frequent displays of affection and affection also help. It is about reminding the couple how you feel about them, whether in the form of words, kisses, caresses, hugs …

Trust, one of the basic pillars in a relationship

As we can see, among the basic pillars of a sentimental relationship is precisely trust. Therefore, in addition to commitment or passion, it is necessary to show a sincere attitude and speak directly about what concerns us.

It is also crucial to work on self-confidence. That other person wants to be with you and has chosen you for something.

However, if jealousy and control remain despite best efforts, it is imperative to seek professional help. Psychological therapy provides valuable resources to understand what is happening and manage these difficulties on an interpersonal level.

Bernardo Peña

Graduated in Psychology from the University of Jaén in 2010. Master’s degree in Clinical Psychology from the University of Almería (2011) and Master’s degree in Legal and Forensic Psychology from COPAO, Granada (2012). He has published 8 scientific articles and is the author of the following books: “General Psychopathology”, “Neurosciences: etiology of brain damage” and “Psychological Evaluation”. In addition, he is co – author of the book “ROA Model: Integration of Object Relations Theory and Attachment Theory”. He has participated in international conferences on clinical and forensic psychology. Since 2010 he has practiced professionally as a clinical and forensic psychologist, writer, trainer and university professor. Currently, he collaborates with various digital media.