No One Should Be Important Enough To Embitter Your Life

People often make life bitter for us very easily. Sometimes p or fear, negative attitudes, insecurities or worry about things that are not worth it. Likewise, a very common fact is to allow others to be who, with their attitude, can also embitter our days.

It is necessary to approach things differently. We must bear in mind that bitterness, above all else, is the inability to be happy. Before criticizing or blaming someone who makes our lives bitter, be patient and receptive. Thus, you can intuit if that person suffers from some kind of problem, such as depression.

Now, if what exists is, only, the clear will to hurt, to control and to do emotional blackmail, then do not allow it. No one should be important enough to steal your happiness for nothing. We invite you to reflect on it.

Forbidden to embitter the lives of others

Starting today, we are going to put into practice a new purpose: it is forbidden to make anyone’s life bitter, and even less so to us. This is a human faculty as common as it is uncomfortable that causes us, almost without knowing how, to fall into an abyss of gray color, apathy and discomfort.

We are going to open our emotional umbrellas to be able to protect ourselves from harmful comments from those who try to remove our wings when we want to fly, from those who put out our dreams with fire, or from those who repeat to us every day a “you can’t” when what we feel is  a “I want to do it . ” To achieve this purpose we can follow these simple strategies.

I hear you, I understand you, but I protect myself from you

As we have pointed out at the beginning of the article, sometimes a behavior always characterized by bitterness, irritability or apathy can be a clue to a disguised depression.

• Reacting with anger or disinterest could intensify the other person’s negative emotions.

• The best thing to do is listen to someone who always brings us bitterness and confront their arguments calmly, assertively and patiently.
• If that person needs help, give him strategies so that he can get it and become aware of what is going on inside him.
• If what exists is simply an outright lack of empathy and respect for us, open your defensive umbrella and distance yourself.

Bitterness is not solved by making more bitter

A reproach is not solved with an insult. Fears are not extinguished with bigger fears, and bitterness does not disappear by accumulating more negative emotions.

• If any of your family, partner or friends is that person who is used to bringing you “gray days” in clear moments, to tripping each of your dreams or illusions, do not intensify the situation even more with anger, with reactions loaded with hostility .
• We have to be assertive, but also smart. Sometimes, we cannot change the way of being of those around us. There are personality patterns used to discredit others, to offend and belittle.

The sooner we accept it, the sooner we can act in a more logical way: with distance or with defensive walls.

Keys against bitterness

Rafael Santandreu is a psychologist who, thanks to books such as “The art of not making life bitter”, has shown us that the poor quality of life that we experience at some point is the result of a wrong philosophy that we apply, almost without knowing how, to our actions, to our thoughts.

One way to deal with these erroneous approaches would undoubtedly be to learn to make life a little less miserable. To know how to do it, just keep these simple strategies in mind:

• Do not complain so much. Instead of lamenting what is bad or what we don’t have, try to appreciate what you already have or fix what worries you.

• To use the terminology of this psychologist, don’t “scare” your life. People often say to ourselves that “if they kick me out of work it will be terrible, it will be the end”, “if my partner leaves me I will die, it will be terrible.
• Even if you don’t know it, you need very little to be happy. Try to appreciate the little things that surround you.
• Take care of your internal dialogue. Sometimes we are our own worst enemies.
• Do not demand anything from anyone, do not expect everything from others.
• Love yourself unconditionally and, in turn, be able to accept those around you for who they are. Love them with respect, just like you respect yourself.
• Make use of laughter in the face of the chaos of those around you. If someone is hell-bent on making your life bitter, respond with humor.

It’s not worth it, because none of their bad arts has no power over you.