The “rich Boy Syndrome”: A Syndrome Caused By Parents

Rich kid syndrome, also known as affluenza or ricopathy, does not refer to the children of wealthy people. It is related to the fact of giving the children everything they ask for, without costing them a minimum of effort; a situation that generally occurs in families with high income.

However, it is a pattern that can also occur in middle-class families, in which parents try (unconsciously many times) to make up for their physical and emotional absences with material goods. 

The point is that children do not really demand material goods, but rather to reinforce the bond and their emotional needs. Therefore, you have to show them that they are loved and share activities and games with them.

In addition, hyper-gifting a child and agreeing to all their requests is not one of the best ways to educate. What will happen when they have to function in society by themselves?

What is the origin of the term rich boy syndrome?

Although this syndrome is not recognized as a clinical diagnosis by associations of psychiatrists and psychologists, its use has been going on since the 1990s. The affluenza was the first term used to refer to him,  from the book The Golden Ghetto: The Psychology of Affluence .

Jessie H. O’Neill explains how the spoiled children of wealthy families exhibit irresponsible behavior and lack of empathy. Is about the direct consequence of overprotection and making up for the lack of time with gifts and money.

How do you know if you are promoting rich child syndrome in your children?

You don’t need to have a lot of money to suffer from this syndrome. In fact, cases of “richness” in middle-class children and adolescents are becoming more and more frequent. 

According to a study published in the American Journal of Sociology , parents today, due to their responsibilities or the effort to position themselves economically, do not spend enough time raising their children.

This often means that they end up offering them material gifts to fill that void, which has its consequences. 

First signs

One of the first signs of rich kid syndrome, according to various investigations, is revealed when the child expresses boredom relatively frequently. This happens despite having a room full of toys and all kinds of trendy tech gadgets.

Thus, when it is intended that the child calm down or they want to avoid tantrums, they are given something material, promoting this behavior. Also if he is rewarded all the time for any favor they do or for being good. 

Another way to encourage him is to buy expensive gifts, even if it is not a special occasion or postpone family expenses to fulfill some of his whims. These attitudes on the part of the parents give rise to the syndrome of the rich boy, putting in danger their emotional and physical health.

Consequences for physical and emotional health

In addition to the aforementioned signs, the same investigations also speak of another series of “symptoms” or characteristics that young people with rich kid syndrome usually present:

• Low self-esteem and loss of motivation.
• They are unable to tolerate frustrations, believing that they deserve everything.
• They do not face their own problems. They think that mom and dad will always come to solve them.
• Their unconsciousness leads them to be irresponsible and to lack discipline.
• They manifest high levels of stress and anxiety due  to the lack of school performance.
• They have difficulties in maintaining harmony with their peers.
• They become restless and irritable over unimportant matters and end up very unhappy.
• They often end up engaging in harmful behaviors such as alcohol or drug use.

Is it possible to avoid it?

It is vitally important to explain to the child the effort made by their parents to maintain a more comfortable lifestyle. Also that to obtain things you have to work and, sometimes, very hard. Likewise, they must be taught that in order to indulge, you have to save.

In the book Your Child, A Competent Person: Towards New Basic Family Values, family therapist Jesper Juul states that children have to understand that there are responsibilities within the home that they must fulfill, without having to be rewarded for it.

They must be taught that they have to set the table, take out the garbage and help tidy up and clean their room. These activities will reinforce your values.

You have to involve the child with real life. They have to learn to value what they have and to cultivate respect for others. As parents, you should not overprotect; on the contrary, it is necessary to offer them the tools to help them deal with their problems. 

Being strict with your children is also an act of love, since it favors ethical and emotional development. A child is also loved when limits are set. They need to work hard to get what they want.

Finally, it is necessary to bear in mind that frustrations are also part of learning and knowing how to deal with them is essential. With this, the development of emotional and psychological capacities that will turn children into happier adults is promoted.