Why Am I Afraid Of Commitment?

You enjoy being with that person, you connected in a very special way. However, overnight, you distance yourself without really knowing why. So is the fear of commitment.

When we go through stormy relationships, full of bad times and suffering, it takes a lot for us to immerse ourselves, again, in new bonds.

We are afraid of the possible future that we imagine in our mind, that we will be hurt again or that we will return to that state of constant unhappiness. However, we need to know how to analyze and eliminate this fear.

The fear of compromise and pessimism

Undoubtedly, when we speak of fear of commitment, we are referring to people who are very pessimistic about relationships.

They have a very negative view of ties with other people, something the result of very unpleasant experiences in the past. But, above all, there is a great fear of losing the freedom that is now enjoyed.

However, if you find yourself in this situation, it is important that you understand that, although once your relationship has gone bad, this does not mean that it will be a constant.

That is, it does not imply that the later ones are just as negative, unless the reason why you are immersing yourself in harmful relationships has to do with you. What does this mean?

Being jealous, insecure or emotionally dependent can cause you to attract certain types of partners without being aware of it. People who mistreat you, who use you or manipulate you.

Take advantage of that moment when you are not in a relationship to solve any difficulties that are preventing you from maintaining healthy relationships.

Assessment of individual needs

Many people consider that those who do not want to have relationships and think only of themselves, have self-centered and selfish personalities. However, this is misleading.

People with this type of fear have simply learned to value their needs before those of others. In other words, they have learned to give themselves the value they deserve and they don’t need anyone to take care of them and love them, because they already do it themselves.

Perhaps it is difficult to understand this, since we are immersed in a society that makes us think of the other before of ourselves. It forces us, in a way, to love without conditions and to endure certain situations that are justified under the word “love.”

But, people with a fear of commitment have learned to be alone. Something that many, if not all, should experience. Because many problems in relationships are based on not knowing how to love without possessing, without insecurity, without fear of loneliness.

People with a fear of commitment, once they overcome this, manage to maintain much more enriching relationships, because they know how to be alone and do not depend on a partner to be happy.

Limiting beliefs

A person with this type of fear has many limiting beliefs that swarm through his mind. Although this fear has something positive, like knowing how to be alone and prioritize yourself, it is true that there is a certain discomfort due to this barrier that has been raised due to insecurity.

Somehow, you can’t get rid of that past that haunts you and reminds you that relationships are negative and bad. In some cases, these types of considerations cause the person to isolate himself, to flee from all ties, be they a couple or friendship.

It is difficult, though not impossible, to break free from all these fear-provoking beliefs that cause the feeling of being trapped. However, if it is difficult for you, it is always positive to go to a professional.

Fear is never positive and, although it is difficult, it is necessary to look it in the face and end it. Don’t let it overtake you or control your life.

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